Exactly ten years ago today, I was finally able to enter my first bar order my first shot and purchase my first keg...well...legally anyway. ;o) luckily, I had 6 or 7 fake IDs that got me through the previous four years or so. Now I'm not condoning the use of fake IDs (also an old-timer thing, I guess) but it sure helped out with the social aspects of my life. As the clock struck midnight, I launched said 6 or 7 IDs up into the air while my fellow ΣAE pledge brothers dove after them. I proceeded to the bar and wasn't going to stop until the sun came up.
Now I won't get into every detail here but my big-brother, and some other "active(s)" held out a sheet of paper. On this sheet of paper was a header, "The 21 Club", a column entitled "Shot" containing the numbers 1. through 21. and two columns for signatures. So for the visual people...
The 21 Club
Shot Signature Signature
1. __________ ___________2. __________ ___________
etc...you get the idea.
The idea was that anyone who bought me a shot for my 21st birthday would write down the name of the shot, sign it and then I would in turn sign it as well. Of course they started me off with some of the worst shots imaginable at one of the worst dive bars imaginable: Prairie Fire, Wild Turkey, cheap tequila, Three Wise Men, Liquid Cocaine, RumpleMintz (which I later came to appreciate), Gold Schlager. Gradually, they moved on to easier shots: Sex on the Beach, Kamikaze...hell even vodka was better than some of the trash they made me do. Needless to say, my signature was far from legible around the 15th shot or so and by the 18th shot, it was no more than a zig-zag of a line. I never made it to 21.
Tally-hoe, it was off to Tiffany's (now it's PT's), we go. Upon entering this fine establishment, I was whisked on stage, had my hands and feet tied to a chair (apparently I was friendly...hey, it happens when I drink) and had my belt removed. I won't get into all the details here but I'm sure you get the picture.
I woke up the next morning freezing my booty off in my dorm wearing nothing more than my new Tiffany's boxers, my belt which was wrapped around my neck, lipstick "kisses" all over my face and head and my tie which was wrapped around my head (...thanks d*cks! You guys could have removed the belt for the love of all that's holy). As I scanned the room, I noticed people passed out all over the place. Aaaaaah yes, college. Gotta love it.
In any case...I may be old, but I sure don't feel it. Three cheers to my next thirty years.
9 comments:
wow, you're OLD! hehe.... :-) happy birthday Jimmy!
blondie: Thank ya! I had a blast last night. Eyes are a little foggy and I crave grease...yes, just grease...but I had a really good time. ;o)
manda: HAHA!!! Yes, yes I am. "I ain't as good as I once was...but I'm as good once as I ever was!" Thank you!
little d*ck (c-67-176-77-158.hsd1.co.comcast.net): You crack me up! You're so witty. Please stop back more often. What a tool...you can't seriously tell me that you got up aaaall early Saturday morning (8:23AM) just to comment on my blog. I'm flattered but it also tells me a lot about your social life. The funny thing is that you're operating under the assumption that I write this blog for you. All that masterbation about farm animals must have really messed up your gourd.
Again, please pick up a grammer book and get back to me. You're "Engrish" is getting a little better. I look forward to your comments! I seriously do!
Hey Jason, don't we know a few people who work for Comcast? Let the the fun begin. hehe! ;o)
Happy Birthday Jimmy! Sorry it's a little late, hope you had a good one.
happy belated b-day jimmy :)
jess: Thanks so much! I had a great birthday! Best one yet! :o)
~h~: Thank YOU! I didn't get the fainting goat I asked for though. ;o)
Guess your 31st wasn't as exciting as your 21st...
you know who! ;o): It was even betta!
pandora: Excellent! I'm not planning on slowing down anytime soon. Thank ya!
Wow...hope your birthday was blessed with fun, smiles and great memories.
Now about the list of shots....no one gave you a Flaming Lamborghini??? That should always be the icing on the cake for any birthday boy!
Guys who go to a local strip bar where I live, end up having the waistbands of their undies ripped off and hung above the stage. Every weekend the lights flash through an array of Calvins, FTLs, Hanes, etc...you get the picture! Now if you wore boxers, well, let's just say I feel sorry for you because the strippers here are ruthless and will stop at nothing until your boxers are off...ouch!
oh so wonderful: Thanks! I had a blast! Flaming Lamborghini? That just sounds a bit rough. What is that? Strip clubs - ummmm, yeah. That doesn't sound fun. I've been to my fair share of them (probably a little more than most and enough for it to lose it's appeal) and I've seen that a couple of times especially when the guys can't keep their hands off the ladies (when they don't want your hands on them of course). One of my friends (who is notorious for touching when they don't want him to) got around that by going "commando". The expression on their face(s) was priceless.
Aila: Now that I'm all settled in, it isn't so bad. I'm sure 32 is going to rent space in my head.
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